Bring Me To Life

I hate being nothing to no one.  That is what I become every time I use.  In my last blog, I said I needed to Give to Live.  I have not stopped giving.  I have not given up this time like I did last time.  It means too much and I know that.  However, I do keep using and that can't continue!  

I also said in my last blog that by using I am killing myself.  Even when I am alive, when I use, it is as if I am not alive.  I begin to lose my soul.  I literally become nothing to no one.  I disappear and I am unreachable.  Those who know me notice this every time.

I try to live The Truth.  It's not as if I do not tell The Truth after the fact, but when I tell someone I will be somewhere it is important that I keep my word.  Saying I will be somewhere and then not is basically lying the way I see it. I mean what I say when I say it, I just end up changing my plans.  Basically, I choose to use and once I do that I can't do anything else.

It's important I be grateful that I am alive and have received so many blessings.  The other thing I do not do when I use is take care of myself.  It is so important I do certain things every day, many times a day or it could ultimately kill me.  It would definitely hurt my health which really isn't that great anyway.

I am alive.  When I use it is as if people can see into my eyes like open doors.  I know that God can and that should be enough, however, it seems more people can.  I know that using is not living.  I have to live.  I mean really live life.  If anyone is suppose to know that, it is me. 

So many have been so good to me.  I really am grateful for all that has been done, but it is important that I am always that way.  I can't keep using.  It means too much.

Unbelievably, I don't have a lot to say.  My head is just not really there.  I thought it was important that I say something.  It's more important I do something.  That something is STAY CLEAN. I haven't taken it too far yet.  It's dark, but not that dark.   Still, I need to find my soul.

 

 

How can you see into my eyes like open doors?
Leading you down into my core where I’ve become so numb
Without a soul my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold
Until you find it there and lead it back home

(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can’t wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
Call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
Bid my blood to run
(I can’t wake up)
Before I come undone
(Save me)
Save me from the nothing I’ve become

Now that I know what I’m without
You can't just leave me
Breathe into me and make me real
Bring me to life

(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can’t wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
Call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
Bid my blood to run
(I can’t wake up)
Before I come undone
(Save me)
Save me from the nothing I’ve become

Bring me to life
(I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside)
Bring me to life

Frozen inside without your touch
Without your love, darling
Only you are the life among the dead

All this time I can't believe I couldn't see
Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me
I’ve been sleeping a thousand years it seems
Got to open my eyes to everything
Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul
Don't let me die here
There must be something more
Bring me to life

(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can’t wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
Call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
Bid my blood to run
(I can’t wake up)
Before I come undone
(Save me)
Save me from the nothing I’ve become

(Bring me to life)
I’ve been living a lie, there’s nothing inside
(Bring me to life)