Found in a Fall

(I always hoped that someday my photography and my writing would somehow matter to others.  It means more to me than I can briefly explain.  It means everything.   I really do appreciate all of the support and encouragement I have received as a result of my photography and writing.  I mainly write about my "story" and the people who happen to be around me. It's really about God.  I want my writing to help people.  Now, for the first time, I wrote about someone else's "story".  Writing about this man helped me.  I hope to continue writing about peoples struggles and their successes.  Below is Michaels story.  It will soon appear in Laguna Honda's Hospital's newspaper - The Voice. )

"I've found myself in a fall. I'm knowing myself for the first time. It's a total awakening – beyond words. Words would only cheapen it. It's more. I will fill in the blanks next time we meet.”

We did meet. And, Michael did more than fill in the blanks. Michael inspired me to be a better person. He is an amazing person. He went through a lot to complete himself to be that person. Being a former Laguna Honda Hospital patient, I too have been through a lot. He inspires me. I believe his story will inspire many.

Michael was divorced in early 2013. Following his divorce, he became very depressed. For ten years, he was accustomed to taking care of his children. With the divorce, things had changed. Michael began living very recklessly. Though he had always been a bit of a daredevil, he began taking more risks. He began doing things like skateboarding more recklessly. He is also a climber. Before, he climbed rocks, but in his new reckless life, he began climbing buildings! He did these things to amuse his friends. They were amused. In fact, they found it “amazing”.

One night, Michael climbed up a 4 story building at the corner of 6th and Minna, but did not climb down. He fell down. He knew “it was going to hurt”. He fell feet first and then fell forward onto his face. He broke 24 bones in the fall - many in his face. He also shattered his femur, knee, right ankle, and right shoulder.

Michael was rushed to General Hospital and was heavily medicated. Upon awakening, he was nude and was surrounded by 4 beautiful nurses. Michaels first thought “this is heaven.” Then, he looked down to see his knee cap flopped over to the side of his leg. This was his reality. The pain began.

After spending some time at General Hospital, Michael was transferred to Laguna Honda for recovery. He was terrified he would never be able to walk again.

Michael's 5^th day at Laguna Honda Hospital

Prior to his fall, Michael made his living as an artist. He feared losing his passion. He used to pull the covers over his head so the nurses would not walk in on him when he was in tears, as he wondered about his future and feared the worst. Would he be in a wheelchair for the rest of his life? Michael is a sculptor and says it is very necessary for him to be on his feet to create his art. His injuries made him believe that he was about to lose the one thing he believed he still had – art.

For the first couple of months Michael's legs were non-weight-bearing. Just putting his legs over the side of the bed was excruciating. He could not imagine the pain when he would actually try to stand. He had experienced a lot of pain in his life, but nothing like this. Although Michael was in a lot of pain, and full of fear, he never gave up on his passion for art. He regularly created sculptures in Laguna Honda's weekly pottery class.

Michaels creation in Laguna Honda's pottery class.

Michael continued to pursue his passion, yet he still feared he may never walk again. Michael's first hope came the first time he got into the swimming pool for physical therapy. He says his physical therapist is an absolute angel. Those who work at Laguna Honda have angelic reputations from many of their patients. In time, Michael did walk again and is on his way back into an even better life than he had before the incident.

Michael believes his fall taught him very much. He believes the pain and his fears of never walking again, made him a better person. The incident changed him. He truly believes he found himself in a fall. He is now grateful for everything. Micheal was very successful early in life and believes that in some ways, that success may have hindered his art career. He thinks he may have taken some things for granted. He believes he now has gratitude for what he does. He says that now he is not out to please everyone, he is out to make art.

For Michael, life today is beautiful. He cares about himself. He loves himself. He says that “self-honesty” is number one. During Michaels reckless days, people did not want to be around him. Now, they do. People are now on board with him.

Michael says that he was even inspired by his “haters”. He wanted to prove that absolutely nothing could stop him. Not having a lot of visitors while in the hospital, he made the people around him his family. Laguna Honda has a great reputation for this. Michael continues to see the patients at Laguna Honda as family. He volunteers at the hospital because he has “been there.” He understands where they are.

He is now giving back to the place that gave so much to him. He can relate to the people who are hurting at Laguna Honda and he continues to volunteer to help patients in pottery classes, helping to inspire people to create beautiful art.

Michael volunteering at Laguna Honda's pottery class.

Michael’s goal is to help and give back to people who have been where he has recently been. He feels if he can relate to someone then he has something to offer. He also plans to grow his name in the art world. And, he is. He recently had a show at Stanford University and is currently creating sculptures for a beautiful restaurant complex.

It is said that things happen for a reason. This amazing artist was on a very reckless path which created an incredibly difficult incident for him to find his way through. He not only found his way, he found himself. He really is on his way toward a better life. Michael said it best himself, “I've found myself in a fall.”