Jack Straw

(I wrote this blog 9/27/13)

I don't have a lot of time.  It has been one of the best days of my "another chance at life".  And, it will only get better.

This morning, I got up and ran with our new bass player to Golden Gate Park and back.  It wasn't really my bad back or leg that slowed me down, it was that I got too winded!  It's been a long time since I got my heart rate to such a level!  I felt good. 

Then, I went to my Care Coordinator to ask her how I should handle my going to see Furthur tonight who are playing The Greek Theater at UC Berkeley.  She said she needed to talk to the manager.  The manager said that I couldn't go because we are not allowed to go to concerts.  I told her, "I already spent $76.00 on a ticket yesterday!"  I did!  She was so cool with the whole thing, I thought it was a done deal. 

I went and told the manager.   I made it clear I'd be hanging out with the Deadheads recovery group called The WharfRats.  I used to be the secretary of that meeting last year before relapsed!  Actually, Dead shows are safe places for me these days.  I don't use the way I did at Grateful Dead concerts.  I don't regret doing LSD.  Nor do I crave it.  It opened my mind.  It also made me want to stop drinking and smoking and destroying my body.

Short story shorter - he said I could go.  I'm not suppose to be very vocal about it.  I hope this doesn't count.  I don't think I  have many readers at Wally World.  And, I won't ever go to another concert again while there.  Well, there are some free ones coming up at the park.  I'll just get permission to go "to the park" those days. 

Music is my soul.  It means so much to me.  I'll never use at a concert.  Never.  I use to, but I really am so far from those days - TEN YEARS!  What I crave is a needle full of evil meth and a slut.   Pretty sick, but true.  I don't even crave that much any more.  Well, maybe the second half of what I wrote above.  But you see, that is exactly what led me back to the needle - a slut.  It's a long story that's been told.

Today has been great.  I don't have a lot of time to write this.  I'm am so grateful to be in Re-Entry at Wally World!  I am actually writing on a computer.  Now, I can try to get caught up.  It's too confusing to try to write about.  It is probably confusing to read.

Oh yeah, I did yoga for the first time this morning in Re-Entry.  I loved it.  The instructor looked so....  Enough.  That's not what I need to focus on.  I really am sick.  I am trying to be honest.  I think it helps.  Either way, I LOVED yoga.  I intend to do it every Friday.  And, I do respect the instructor for everything she does.  She is a very nice professional young lady who is obviously in incredible shape.  I'll leave it at that.

This Friday, I get to do something I haven't done for years.  See Bobby and Phil.  They are calling themselves Furthur for this show.  I had tickets to New Years, but was such a tweaked out mess, I chose to spend $250.00 at an Asian massage parlor in Chinatown and do an 80 unit hit instead.  That got the Chinese Mafia after me in the parallel universe.  Two weeks later, I was jumping off a rooftop.

Those days are over.  Recovery is delivering the beautifully amazing San Francisco life I always wanted to have.  Tonight's show will be bitter sweet.  I know it will remind me of the good days when Susan and I were seeing shows.  That's not an all bad thing, just a sad thing.

10/1/13
The concert was so amazing.  Now, I want to go on tour.  My whole weekend was amazing.  I went to Alice Now and Zen on Sunday.  I started Re-Entry at Wally World Monday.  This past weekend, I really did re-enter the real world.  Just going to a pizza place with a bunch of gorgeous college girls there on way to the concert was amazing.  I haven't been eating out....  My mind just got dirty.  It was nice to be at that restaurant.  I felt so free.  UC Berkeley Campus is beautiful.

I'm done with sharing wine, but I'm still up for sharing women!  I love this song.  I'll never forget years ago, I had a bunch of really good LSD and mailed some to my friends who were living in Florida.  For the return address, I wrote:

Jack Straw
420 Shakedown Street
Wichita, KS   69420 

For some reason I can't get my video of the song from The Greek at the end of September connected. I attached this youtube version of The Grateful Dead. 

 

 

We can share the women, we can share the wine.
We can share what we got of yours cause we done shared all of mine.
Keep on rollin, just a mile to go;
Keep on rollin my old buddy, you're movin much too slow.

I just jumped the watchman, right outside the fence.
Took his rings, four bucks in change, aint that heaven sent?
Hurts my ears to listen, shannon, burns my eyes to see;
Cut down a man in cold blood, shannon, might as well been me.

We used to play for silver, now we play for life;
And ones for sport and ones for blood at the point of a knife.
And now the die is shaken, now the die must fall.
There aint a winner in the game, he don't go home with all.
Not with all.

Leavin texas, fourth day of july,
Sun so hot, the clouds so low, the eagles filled the sky.
Catch the detroit lightnin out of sante fe,
The great northern out of cheyenne, from sea to shining sea.

Gotta go to tulsa, first train we can ride.
Gotta settle one old score, one small point of pride.
There aint a place a man can hide, shannon will keep him from the sun
Aint a bed can give us rest now, you keep us on the run.

Jack straw from wichita cut his buddy down,
And dug for him a shallow grave and laid his body down.
Half a mile from tucson, by the morning light,
One man gone and another to go, my old buddy you're moving much too slow.

We can share the women, we can share the wine.