God is the Truth

I hate crystal meth.  It is pure evil.  I'm sitting here at the Brainwash while one my old friends is losing his mind on facebook.  He keeps sending me messages about absolute insanity asking me to "help him" and "get this guy" and "get the cops".  I keep getting that sound you get when you get a message and the messages are his rants and raves.

I have 120 days clean today.  It's the longest I've been clean since I was 12.  My life is a fucked up mess.  I hate that drug.  It ruined a lot.  My head hurts.  I did go to a meeting tonight and I needed it.  I responded to my old friend  a couple of times by telling him I didn't think I could help him and that maybe he should get his head together before he deals with some guy that stole something valuable from him.  I told him he knew where to find us.  He responded:

"I AM NEVER COMING BACK , I HATE THOSE HYPOCRITICAL GOSSIPERS IN THOSE MEETING"

Suave also relapsed and lost his mind.  It was really ugly.  I know we didn't get along, but I still cared about the guy.

 

I hate that drug.  It is evil.

I used to write this blog when I was tweaking sometimes years ago.  I started writing this blog in 2006.  I wrote this below on May 26, 2008.  I guess it wasn't completely insane:

Unfortunately, I relapsed again but this time is the last because I am certain of God.  Not only am I certain of God, I am certain that Hell exists.  I have been shown a little bit of both and I know exactly where I want to end up at the end of my life and I also have idea of what I need to do to get there.

The most important things are to be a good person and to believe that God is the Truth.  It is impossible for me to be perfect, because I am human.  All I can do is try and if unsuccessful, ask for forgiveness.

I am certain that evil exists, because every time I relapse it is present.  This means that crystal meth is of course evil.  This does not mean that there are not many other evil things on this earth but it is the one that has taken me to hell.  I am not crazy.  This is all real.  Heaven and Hell are real.  I promise.  I know it with all of my heart.  

Most people will likely not do the things I have done in life that have taken to hell.  As a result, they may not put much thought into God.  Some will understand and actually choose evil.  It can be tricky.  But, it is important to follow one’s heart.  I guess more important than anything is to trust that God is the Truth.  We must believe.  We must live an honest life.  I am a good person, but my life has been anything but honest.  I felt by sharing all of my Truths that would make everything okay.  While it was in fact important that I did this, it is more important that I live a good life for the rest of my life.

I am not sure if I want to go on and on about exactly what happened this last relapse, but I know that I saw hell again and I saw Heaven again.  I saw Heaven only because I am married to an Angel.  Evil does not want me to be with that Angel, because evil knows that we need each other.  I am certain of that.

These days have been long and I really need some time to quiet my mind and find peace once again so I am going to keep this short.  I would like to share a few of photos I took on Sunday that will help make it certain that I never relapse again for the rest of my life.  Please, look at them closely.

I am beginning to know the way.  The rest of my life I will do all I can to share that way with others so that we can all get there.  I have been blessed enough to be shown a little bit of Heaven, and it was the most amazing thing I have seen and felt in my entire life.  God is the Truth; Jesus Christ is the Way.

That tall building to the right is the San Francisco Federal Building which Susan and lived right next to.  It was, of course, New World Order Headquarters back then.