Mustang Sally

 

(I wrote this blog 7/13/13) Feliz cumpleaños!  Auna hora puedo tener una mamá regalo? I guess I'll make Susan a birthday card.  I'm going to draw a picture of Phil and write what I just wrote above him on the front of the card.  In Spanish, it says, "Happy Birthday!  Now can I have a treat mommy?"  He's a little Chihuahua. This is the actual card I made that day. Being broke means I can't buy much.  I also love drawing and painting these days.  I am an artist. It appears as though I will be getting assistance to get a place to live when I get out of rehab.  I must not forget that I am getting assistance right now.  I am grateful for the three meals a day and the roof over my head.  AND, I am getting recovery!  The groups here are great! It's the other residents that make this place so challenging.  Last night, while at a recovery meeting for artists and writers, I saw a friend who I was in that last program with.   We were roommates.  Since I basically got kicked out for calling that program it's real name, I think, let's give it a nickname.  Let's call that program Christian Chaos.  My friend asked which program I preferred.  That is a good question. Oh, by the way, that friend I saw was El Diablo.  I almost forgot how I use to use nicknames.  I was a lot closer to people in Christian Chaos.  I became close to many of the residents so quickly.  It is much smaller.  They have about 20 residents there.  Here, there are 108.  Let's name, "Here" - Wally World. I keep very quiet and stay in the background here.  I do participate in groups.  Because of that, I am becoming known.  I am starting to get some readers and photo fans.  One guy, lets call him Robert Downey Junior, asked me this morning if I used peoples names in my blog.  I told him I only used nicknames.  He said I could use his middle name and I suggested something else.  I told him that if I wrote about him, I would call him Robert Downey Junior.  He loved it.  He looks just like him.  It's funny, because when I was younger with a goatee, people told me I looked like him.  Especially the old hillbilly ladies at the country western bar my cousin and I always went to.  My cousin, who I lived with, was a bouncer at a bar in Newport, Kentucky.  The bar was called Bubba's Paradise.  It was a country western bar with live country music.  It was on Monmouth Street between all the strip joints.   Next door was The Brass Ass and across the street was The Brass Bull.  Those days were crazy.  Bubba's Paradise was like that bar in the movie Roadhouse.  My cousin was tossing people out the door all night long - literally.   Back in those days I had a 1987 Mustang LX, 5.0, 5 speed.  It was a fun car.  The house band always played Mustang Sally.  I'd be drunk and I'd get out and cut up the dance floor.  Oh, the good ole day's!  Yee Haw! I'm starting to settle in to this place.  It's not worth changing places.  If I have to stay 6 months, I will.  If a personal residence becomes available sooner, I will go!  It looks as though I will be getting assistance getting housing.  That's amazing to me!  I will be so grateful to have my own place - with my own bathroom and my own kitchen! I am handicap.  That is hard for me to admit.  EVERYONE tells me to accept it.  They tell me to quit worrying about working.  I do want to work some day.  I am an artist and I love to be.  I'm also a workaholic.  That's not good. Being assisted in living means that I will at least be able to create my art.  I will not starve.  And I will write.  I may start to write a book since I will have more time.  I kind of already have written at least one over the past few years - maybe more.  Perhaps two.  I don't know.   The most important thing I will be able to do is keep recovery #1 in my life.  It must be.  For now, I'm in the jungle.  That is what this rehab is.  I am meeting people I like.  They like me.  They see that I really care.  Robert Downey Junior was the first person to really ease the way I felt about this place.  He reminds me a lot of me while I was in in Christian Choas.  He is in the middle of everything.  He works in the kitchen as I did at Christian Chaos.  He's a server.  At Christian Chaos, I was first a dishwasher for all the dishes that were used as we fed the homeless.  I was then the breakfast and lunch cook for the residents at Christian Chaos.  El Hefe Grande was the dinner cook.  Que era bueno! (He was good!)   In Christian Chaos, I was very visible.  At Wally World, Robert Downey Junior is very visible.  He is really struggling with being here - as am I. I am more accepting of this place.  All the BS people give me is just that - BS.  It's their BS.  That is what I am accepting.  When people are difficult with me, I am learning to let it flow over my head.  It's them, not me.  It is hard when they drag me into the drama, but I do my best.  The bottom line is, I'm not a bad person.  I do care about people. This place is SO dramatic.  Even the counselors are mixed up in the drama.  I am constantly being criticized for doing something one way by one staff member and then criticized for doing it the way I was just instructed to by another staff member.  It is so frustrating.  They are not on the same page.   I don't get bent out of shape about it.  I simply tell Staff #1 that Staff #2 told me to do it this way "yesterday".  It's very complicated and frustrating. Most of the counselors have to be very firm and aggressive to many clients.  They problem is, they choose to be so with all of us from the get-go.  I couldn't do their job, but I wish they would cut some of us a break.  Some do.  Almost all of them are good counselors, but some are difficult.  It's the way this "world" goes round. I sure wish I could go round that dance floor again!  I could do it sober these days - of course!  I'd have to.  I still love this song.  Although I have become an avid bicyclist, I still love Mustangs!  If I ever were able to buy a car, just for fun some day, that's what it would be.  I'm dreaming again.  That's a good thing.   Mustang Sally, think you better slow your mustang down. Mustang Sally, think you better slow your mustang down. You been running all over the town now. Oh! I guess I'll have to put your flat feet on the ground. All you want to do is ride around Sally, ride, Sally, ride. All you want to do is ride around Sally, ride, Sally, ride. All you want to do is ride around Sally, ride, Sally, ride. One of these early mornings, oh, you gonna be wiping your weeping eyes. I bought you a brand new mustang 'bout nineteen sixty five Now you come around signifying a woman, you don't wanna let me ride. Mustang Sally, think you better slow your mustang down. You been running all over the town now. Oh! I guess I'll have to put your flat feet on the ground. All you want to do is ride around Sally, ride, Sally, ride. All you want to do is ride around Sally, ride, Sally, ride. All you want to do is ride around Sally, ride, Sally, ride.