Liberty

lib·er·ty

noun, plural lib·er·ties.

1.  freedom from arbitrary or despotic government or control.

2.  freedom from external or foreign rule; independence.

3.  freedom from control, interference, obligation, restriction, hampering conditions, etc.; power or right of     doing, thinking, speaking, etc., according to choice.

4.  freedom from captivity, confinement, or physical restraint: The prisoner soon regained his liberty.

5.  permission granted to a sailor, especially in the navy, to go ashore.

 

I'm back on  the Mezzanine level!  Liberty!  I do not have tuberculosis!  I was stuck in the Isolation ward for 4 days!  Talk about lonely and hard.  I could not leave my room.  I was not allowed visitors.  Could not access the internet for a few days - that is until "she" helped me!  I love "she's"!  I met some nice people up there I must admit, but I could not wait to get back to the freedom level!  I had a nice room.  I was in and older section, but it was a nice room.  I couldn't see out the the little window.  Then this sweet young woman who may have been Russian did for me a huge favor!  She shaved my face!

 

Now that, I'm back on the Mezzanine level, perhaps I'll get what I feel I am needing and was getting before while here - I full bath from the nurses.  Maybe I'll be able to get myself one soon.  Hopefully, I'll be able to get into my wheelchair and get myself the places and things I need soon enough.  Probably not too soon, but soon enough.  

 

I am in so much pain.  I am very happy to be out of that Isolation Ward.  I felt isolated enough before!  I had a feeling that that tuberculosis test was wrong.  I have had long enough experienced with needles to believe that the young man who gave me the test may have done it wrong.  I sensed it.  And, I've had plenty of TB tests recently!  

 

I'm getting pretty good at this self-diagnosis thing.  Not over doctors or real nurses, but over trainees as some are hear.  I've been at this long enough and I feel my body!  Speaking of feeling my body, they just started giving me that stomach shot again.  The nurses who don't pull up the skin and go into the muscles in my stomach - OUCH. I'm learning to tell them.  It can be painful otherwise.

 

I'm starting to believe that all of my hardcore exercise during my 8 months of recovery may have helped me in this time of life while using and while recovering from injury.  It may have helped save my life. 

 

Actually, I am pretty sure God's Will saved me.  The devil or "The Big Bad Wolf" as he claimed himself this time was always trying to convince me to die and go to hell this last time I was using.  While I didn't end up doing it his or any other famous "Government" officials way to help the souls of others, I did jump of that building to ease the life's and afterlife's of others I care about.  As much as I did not want to commit suicide, I believe I did and it was a very unselfish act.  Perhaps for that alone it was God's Will I survived.  It's not without price let me tell you, but it seems to be heading in the right direction for the bigger "everything."

 

It looks a like a indoor glassed in garden down there!  My brain still has trouble!  I think that is Bernal Heights Park up there.  For a photographer, I sure am having problems with these cameras - one on computer and phone!  Long Story.  

I used to run around this park I can see and wish I could show you a photo of while I lived with Lisa and Claus a few months ago - perhaps they can come over tonight!   I'm ready to start living as much as my very crippled butt possibly can! 

The first thing I had to do was write a blog once I learned I would be moving.  That's after I said hello to one of those cute white uniformed bath-giving Asian Nurses who had the cutest smile. :)  I also have a new nurse who is pretty cute and seems very concerned about my health and well being.  What I usually say not long after I meet a nurse is, "What's your name?", so  I of course did.  Her answer, "Liberty".  I smiled and said, "I'm currently writing a blog named Liberty!"  

I usually use nicknames early on, but I think this one deserves reality.  It deserves "The Truth".  After all, my entire push from the Isolation Ward back to The Mezzanine Level I had a certain inspiring song in my head!  And, I did have my first attempt at suicide recently!  (HOPEFULLY MY LAST!)  My life has been, well....

 
Saw a bird with a tear in his eye
 Walking to New Orleans my oh my
Hey, now, Bird, wouldn't you rather die
Than walk this world when you're born to fly?

If I was the sun, I'd look for shade
If I was a bed, I would stay unmade
If I was a river I'd run uphill
If you call me you know I will
If you call me you know I will

Ooo, freedom
Ooo, liberty
Ooo, leave me alone
To find my own way home
To find my own way home

Say what I mean and I don't give a damn
I do believe and I am who I am
Hey now Mama come and take my hand
Whole lotta shakin' all over this land

If I was an eagle I'd dress like a duck
Crawl like a lizard and honk like a truck
If I get a notion I'll climb this tree
or chop it down and you can't stop me
Chop it down and you can't stop me

Ooo, freedom
Ooo, liberty
Ooo, leave me alone
To find my own way home
To find my own way home

Went to the well but the water was dry
Dipped my bucket in the clear blue sky
Looked in the bottom and what did I see?
The whole damned world looking back at me

If I was a bottle I'd spill for love
Sake of mercy I'd kill for love
If I was a liar I'd lie for love
Sake of my baby I'd die for love
Sake of my baby I'd die for love

Ooo, freedom
Ooo, liberty
Ooo, leave me alone
To find my own way home
To find my own way home
I'm gonna find my own way home