For years I have wandered the streets of San Francisco reading all those 'divinely inspired' sidewalk messages. So many times they would speak exactly to what I was thinking or what the voices in my head were saying. Sometimes they were written permanently in the sidewalk. Sometimes they were written in chalk or another less permanent form. So many times they really spoke to me in ways I could never deny. It was the permanent ones that made me realize the existence of an actual concept I refer to as "space-time!"
Last night I caught one of those sidewalk messengers in action! His name is Elvis Christ. I knew it was something divinely inspired!
I shared with Elvis Christ how many times The Universe had communicated with me during my lost "wanderings" over the years. He gave full credit to God for the messages that come out of him. He said he just tried to add some comedy to it all because he figured "...when we made it to the Pearly Gates we should all be smiling!"
Elvis Christ is a deadhead who is friends with the guy who was The Grateful Dead's personal chef. I guess that guy also lives in North Beach.
I'm loving my new neighborhood. North Beach is pretty cool. I just have to look past all the titty bars. I was never a titty bar kind of person anyway. I prefer a relationship to go along with the titties. Aren't I so romantic? I'll bet the ladies are lining up now. Am I digressing?
Seriously though. Yeah right!
Seriously though, it is a cool neighborhood. I also found my new "Brainwash". It's called Cafe Greco. It's an Italian Cafe - of course. Last night they had open mic. It was a lot of fun. That's where I am now. I'm sure I'll hang out here. It beats hanging out at titty bars! That's not even what the Lusty Lady really is, but that's not really important I guess. Now I want to go to one! See how messed up my mind is. I won't. I mean that.
I guess my landlord is going to give me an applications to stay long term. I'll have to jump through some hoops for my little piss in the sink roach hotel above the Garden of Eden, but I'd like to stay a while. I like North Beach. I think this place is going to be fun. Life!
Oh yeah, I had a really good day today out there selling my photos. One of my best customers was from Cincinnati. He was gay, so that's probably why. Actually he lives in Chicago now. I'm sorry, but most Cincinnatian's don't usually end up buying from me - unless of course they are gay. I'm being kind of silly, but gay men are good customers. Geographically it's San Franciscans, New Yorkers and Southern Californians who usually buy from me. I met three people from Cincinnati today. The gay guy bought three of my photos! It was a busy and good day.
I had another woman from Nashville buy three of my photos as well. She was absolutely gorgeous. Short shorts and high heals. Probably tacky but hot! Actually, hot women are also good customers. She once lived in San Francisco and is trying to move back. She was here interviewing. I told her to be sure to stop and visit if she gets the job. Seriously!
The gay guy lived here once before too. I really can't tell, but I figure he was probably attractive too. It seems most gay men are - at least that's what a lot of women say. It's not like I can't tell to some degree, but I'm just not attracted to men.
I sometimes wish I were attracted to men. It would probably be a bad thing for that addiction. So many gay men seem to be attracted to me. Maybe they are just men about it. I wish I weren't SOOOO attracted to women. It is just to much for me sometimes. I got real issues there! Or, I wish they were as willing to sleep with me so I could just un-cage that addiction! I guess it's a lust thing. Am I digressing again?
I actually sometimes get a slight sensation that I just shot up just by seeing a beautiful woman. Seriously - it hit's me in the heart like that. Am I really messed up?
Perhaps I just had a little diarrhea of the fingers. Perhaps I should pay attention to one of Elvis Christ's messages:
However, I think my readers know what I live by by now:
Being brutally honest about how screwed up I am actually does seem to help. It has in fact been my "escape route" sometimes. I just need to behave. Telling on myself seems to help me do that. I think I know in my own heart and soul what is right and what is wrong for me. That just goes for me. I'll never comment on what behavior is right and wrong for others. That's not totally true. Honesty, Forgiveness, Kindness, Patience.... Those kind of behavior's I may promote. Whether or not a titty bar is right for you, well that's up to you. And, I digress. What about this behavior? "Piggish" comedy if you will?
It should be a good week. The Blue Angels get here tomorrow. I'm going to work at Fisherman's Wharf Thursday through Sunday, since that's where most of the crowds gather during Fleet Week. Tomorrow, my "day off", I have to go pick up a lot of supplies. I signed up for Zipcar so I could go to South San Francisco and pick up some frames and photo mattes. I also have to go to my storage units, get my umbrella and move some things to my room in North Beach.
I guess I should note I have to go to the doctor tomorrow also to get lots of tests results back. They will be what they will be. I'm not really worried - as long as I don't think about it!
When I first became a street artist I worked at Fisherman's Wharf. I eventually outgrew it. My display will have to be much smaller there, but this might actually be a good thing for a while. I may stay small if things go well. It will give me a lot more freedom and flexibility. Plus, North Beach is right in the middle of the three places I can set up shop - The Ferry Building, the Powell Street Cable Car turnaround and Fisherman's Wharf.
For now, I'm going to at least set up at Fisherman's Wharf to sell my Blue Angel photos I took during years past. Most of the past years during Fleet Week when I had chance to set up and sell, I would relapse. I just love blowing big opportunities. That won't happen this time. I'm enjoying my time in The Promised Land!
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| Elvis Christ Lives! |
I left my home in
California on my mind
I straddled that Greyhound
And rode into Raleigh
And on across Caroline
We had motor trouble that turn into a struggle
Halfway across Alabam'
And that hound broke down and left us all stranded
In downtown Birmingham
Right away I brought me a through train ticket
Ridin' across Mississippi clean
And I was on that midnight flyer out of Birmingham
Smoking into New Orleans
Somebody help me get out of Louisiana
Just to help me get to Houston Town
There are people there who care a little about me
And they won't let the poor boy down
Sure as you're born brought me a
Put luggage in my hand
And I woke up high over Alberquerque
On a jet to the promised land
Working on a T-bone steak a la carte
Flying over to the golden state
Ah when the pilot told us in thirteen minutes
He would set us at the terminal gate
Swing low chariot come down easy
Taxi to the terminal zone
Cut your engines and cool your wings
And let me make it to the telephone
Los Angeles give me Norfolk Virginia
Tidewater four ten o nine
Tell the folks back home this is the promised land calling
And the poor boy is on the line
Working on a T-bone steak a la carte
Flying over to the golden state
Ah when the pilot told us in thirteen minutes
He would set us at the terminal gate
Taxi to the terminal zone
Cut your engines and cool your wings
And let me make it to the telephone
Los Angeles give me Norfolk Virginia
Tidewater four ten o nine
Tell the folks back home this is the promised land calling
And the poor boy is on the line
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