(I wrote this blog April 26th, 2012)
I got off restriction today! I'm glad I was on extended restriction the past couple of days. I got a lot done that I needed to get done. I grew from it too. Hefe Grande and I got some good laughs over it. He supposedly had his slips signed. I think he was just pulling his "No hablar ingles" BS. He gets a lot of mileage out of that one. I kept telling him that, "Trudy told me you're on restriction!" He's kind of gullible. "No Dave!" Then, once he confirmed he wasn't, he kept saying, "Ahhhh, it's okay hemrano! A few more days restriction for you."
Trudy just said to me, "Quit volunteering for everything!" She's got a point.
Even though I felt wronged, I did have my part in it and we were kind of punished as a house. There were a couple of people who had their slips signed anyway - supposedly Hefe!. We needed that rule enforced. After breakfast this morning, I decided to walk over to Susan's so I could charge my camera for this weekend.
Photography is my passion. Outside of the opportunity to take photos with Charlie and the hot chocolate kids at YWAM, It's been a year since I really took photos. Perhaps I'll take my Masterpiece. Those photos are kind of priceless I guess.
On my way to Susan's, I saw a friend of mine. He has spent a lot of time in prison. He was also an IV meth user. He's been clean for a while. He has a nice little place in a hotel on 6th street. He used to invite me into his place and would feed me cereal. He would also give me a couple of dollars and cigarettes. He always tried to help me when I was struggling. He says he has some photography work for me. He's a good painter.
I also saw two syringes on my 1/2 a block walk to Susan's. That affected me. I'm being mindful of that and letting that be known here. Phil was so excited to see me. My psycho cats didn't recognize me and hid from me. Maybe because I'm the one who was psycho for so long. I'm not that person anymore.
This morning at CityTeam we had an addiction counselor who specialized in sex addiction come in and give a two hours class. Sex addiction is the dark side of my addiction that I have really been afraid of talking about for so many obvious reasons. For me IV meth use and sex addiction is the gateway to hell. I'll leave it at that for now.
I have to recognize all that this dark path has created for me. It's hard to see anything but darkness when I am caught up in my addiction. As I distance myself from it, certain truths become more apparent. God does love me.
I believe my will takes me to the dark side and God's will delivers me from it. I don't believe that God planned for my dark behavior in my life. I do believe God can plan for my walk with him despite my downfall. Does God know my behavior before I do it? Is it all written? Perhaps. I really don't know.
The addiction counselor said, "We are a poem prepared by God." I can relate to that. We are taught here that we are not the person we are in our addictions. He told us that when Michelangelo was asked, how he created the statue of David, he replied, "I chipped away everything that was not David." The counselor also suggested we view ourselves as a Masterpiece of God.
On my way to Susan's, I saw a friend of mine. He has spent a lot of time in prison. He was also an IV meth user. He's been clean for a while. He has a nice little place in a hotel on 6th street. He used to invite me into his place and would feed me cereal. He would also give me a couple of dollars and cigarettes. He always tried to help me when I was struggling. He says he has some photography work for me. He's a good painter.
I also saw two syringes on my 1/2 a block walk to Susan's. That affected me. I'm being mindful of that and letting that be known here. Phil was so excited to see me. My psycho cats didn't recognize me and hid from me. Maybe because I'm the one who was psycho for so long. I'm not that person anymore.
This morning at CityTeam we had an addiction counselor who specialized in sex addiction come in and give a two hours class. Sex addiction is the dark side of my addiction that I have really been afraid of talking about for so many obvious reasons. For me IV meth use and sex addiction is the gateway to hell. I'll leave it at that for now.
I have to recognize all that this dark path has created for me. It's hard to see anything but darkness when I am caught up in my addiction. As I distance myself from it, certain truths become more apparent. God does love me.
I believe my will takes me to the dark side and God's will delivers me from it. I don't believe that God planned for my dark behavior in my life. I do believe God can plan for my walk with him despite my downfall. Does God know my behavior before I do it? Is it all written? Perhaps. I really don't know.
The addiction counselor said, "We are a poem prepared by God." I can relate to that. We are taught here that we are not the person we are in our addictions. He told us that when Michelangelo was asked, how he created the statue of David, he replied, "I chipped away everything that was not David." The counselor also suggested we view ourselves as a Masterpiece of God.
Oh, the streets of Rome are filled with rubble,
Ancient footprints are everywhere.
You can almost think that you're seein' double
On a cold dark night on the Spanish Stairs.
Got to hurry on back to my hotel room,
Where I've got me a date with a Botticelli's niece.
She promised she'd be right there with me
When I paint my masterpiece.
Oh, the hours I've spent inside the Coliseum,
Dodging lions and wastin' time.
Oh, those mighty kings of the jungle,
I could hardly stand to see 'em,
Yes, it sure has been a long hard climb.
Train wheels runnin' thru the back of my memory,
When I ran on the hilltop following a pack of wild geese.
Someday, life's gonna be smooth like a rhapsody,
When I paint my masterpiece.
Sailin' 'round the world in a dirty gondola,
Oh, to be back in the land of Coca-Cola!
I left Rome and landed in Brussels,
On a plane ride so bumpy that I almost cried.
Clergymen in uniform and young girls pullin' hustles,
Everyone was there to greet me when I stepped inside.
Newspapermen eating candy
Had to be held down by big police.
Someday, everything is gonna be diff'rent
When I paint my masterpiece.
Ancient footprints are everywhere.
You can almost think that you're seein' double
On a cold dark night on the Spanish Stairs.
Got to hurry on back to my hotel room,
Where I've got me a date with a Botticelli's niece.
She promised she'd be right there with me
When I paint my masterpiece.
Oh, the hours I've spent inside the Coliseum,
Dodging lions and wastin' time.
Oh, those mighty kings of the jungle,
I could hardly stand to see 'em,
Yes, it sure has been a long hard climb.
Train wheels runnin' thru the back of my memory,
When I ran on the hilltop following a pack of wild geese.
Someday, life's gonna be smooth like a rhapsody,
When I paint my masterpiece.
Sailin' 'round the world in a dirty gondola,
Oh, to be back in the land of Coca-Cola!
I left Rome and landed in Brussels,
On a plane ride so bumpy that I almost cried.
Clergymen in uniform and young girls pullin' hustles,
Everyone was there to greet me when I stepped inside.
Newspapermen eating candy
Had to be held down by big police.
Someday, everything is gonna be diff'rent
When I paint my masterpiece.
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