Oh Love

I wonder if this young woman across the street realizes how many times her liking to be naked in her window caused me to stick a needle in my arm.  Probably not.  Man I was f'd up.  It was somehow sickly connected.  Somehow that sight use create an uncontrollable desire to shoot up.  Wow.  I'm pretty distant from those days.  It kind of doesn't even make sense to me anymore.  Good.  It really didn't back then either, but there was a connection.  

I haven't even lived in this apartment for about a year.  It's pretty empty now.  It's echoing.  I'm so grateful for The King and Sam Malone.  They helped me help Susan move this morning.  They are both my roommates.  They helped in a lot more ways than physically helping me move.

571B Minna for 9 years

Still have a little to do tomorrow.

I took Phil by CityTeam one last time.   Leonard Sizemore just had to see him one more time.  All the guys there are being so cool to me.  Thank you guys.   Phil is on a plane to Cincinnati right now with Susan's parents. I appreciate all of the help from Susan's parents. 

The cat's won't be able to make it until tomorrow because they didn't have the proper paperwork.  I guess I get to see them - one more time!  I'm glad, but I will be glad when all of this is over and Susan and I both can move on with our lives.  I think we will both find happiness.  I'll miss her.

We had some good times in this apartment.  It wasn't all naked neighbors and shooting up.  Although we did cry a lot here and it was an emotional and mental nightmare for me at times, Sus and I did have some great days here.  Speaking of emotional nightmare, poor little Phillip use to get so confused.  Susan wasn't always coming towards me to hug me!  We hugged the other day and Phil barked at me.  He use to bark at me when Susan would yell at me.  He even use to bark at me when I use to try to steel money out of Susan's purse in the middle of the night.  Smart little guy use to make me so mad when he did that!  Susan would wake up and say, "You get 'em Phillip!"  and then hide her purse under her pillow.

We did laugh a lot here.  I'll always remember playing the Hannah Montana song on guitar while Susan sang and danced to it.  This makes me smile.  Oh yeah, I kind of found God here.  That's pretty big.

Moving wasn't that bad.  Even emotionally.  There were some hard times.  Her jewelry box had lots of memories.  Coming across some photo albums was kind of tough, but also kind of nice.  Sus and I had some really good times in our life.  Being in this apartment is really weird.  It's kind of haunted.  Naked chick never helped!  She gave one last show.   It's too bad Sam Malone and The King aren't here right now. It's probably best they are  not.  I wasn't really looking. I'm so glad my addictions are in check!

I should remember the last time I was looking at naked chicks I broke some ribs!  Which reminds me, one day before I was going somewhere, I was finishing up a converstation with Sleepless.  She said, "Try not to break a rib today, Perv!"  I still laugh about that.  It hurt back then to laugh when she first said it - my ribs were still really sore, but I couldn't help it.  I like a woman who makes me laugh!

I think having Sleepless as my friend has really helped me get through this.  She was very kind and supportive this morning. I will always love Susan, but it is different now.  Sleepless is....I don't know, but she really makes me feel good.   She has been a nice distraction for my mind.  Thanks.  

I was taking some people to the Oakland Airport at about 5:00 AM this morning and this brand new Green Day song came on.  Green Day is yet another amazing Bay Area band.  It pretty much sums up how I'm feeling.