A Thousand Years

As I suspected, my anticaption of my saying goodbye to Sus was harder than my actually saying goodbye to Sus.  It was still probably one of the hardest days of my life.

My run cleared my head.  I was a lot more of the man I wanted to be for Sus on the day we parted ways.  It was hard.  I am so grateful to have been clean for 4 1/2 months and to do for her as much as I did.  

She did so much for me in my life.  She tried so hard to save our marriage.  She asked that our wedding vowels read "forever."  I ruined all that.

Before we left the apartment, Sus asked, "Do we have to say good bye?"  It's not as if I'll never see her again, but in many ways it is goodbye.

I hugged her for so long and 23 years just flashed through my mind.  There were lots of beautiful memories.  I told her, "Thanks Sus.  I wouldn't even be alive if it weren't for you."

 

This song coincidentally enough came on the radio before I left.  Susan and I listened to this song in our last moments together.  She said "How did you know that was my song to you?"  How couldn't I?  I'll always love you Sus.  Good luck.  See you someday.

Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer

[Chorus:]
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

Time stands still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything take away
What's standing in front of me
Every breath
Every hour has come to this

One step closer

[Chorus:]
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

One step closer
One step closer

[Chorus:]
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more